White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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