Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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