Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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