rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
