I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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