remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize