We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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