6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
