i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
well you can't waste a boner
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
