i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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