I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
i now understand why vodka
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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