They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
