I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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