I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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