I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
