singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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