I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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