Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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