Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize