you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
