Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
