i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
