It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Someone shit on the floor
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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