You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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