Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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