$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
