Ambien. No doubt about it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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