The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
