the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If I die, sorry about rent.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
