I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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