she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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