First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
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Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
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so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
the raccoons are back...
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