sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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