Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I just want nice things and good sex
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Randomize
