i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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