i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Randomize
