Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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