And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
