I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
How many fucks given?
0.12846
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
