Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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