Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
