Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i jhust puked up my retainher.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
