So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
