ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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