So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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