gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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