I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
