I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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