i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
