I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
