It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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