she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
