She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
