The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
