On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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