we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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