Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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