I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
