ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
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