she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
the gays at disneyland are vicious
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
