At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Randomize
