Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
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my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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