I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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