her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
