I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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